Since my last blog, July 2019, much as happened. As I’m sure much has for anyone reading this.

I moved from Rio Communities, New Mexico to Fischer, Texas in the fall of 2019. In coronavirus terms, just in time. Living in the free state of Texas while the Governor of New Mexico was getting jewelry during lock downs was quite the juxtaposition. From one small town to another, I find the weather here to be a little warmer with more humidity. Crime rate is much lower. Being an hour away from Austin or San Antonio is just as cool if not a little cooler, compared to being an hour away from Albuquerque.

As one who sees this page, one might notice a lack of content. “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men. Gang aft a-gley” or the best laid plans can still go wrong. The move took a lot out of me. Getting settled? Still settling in.

I had some great experiences in New Mexico. Starting Next Step Media Productions, LLC was a small part in a bigger idea. Helping others create content, check. Creating some of my own content, check. Seeking other opportunities, check. I even got to be a background actor in Season 4, Episode 1 of Night Shift as an EMT. Great location to work at the Albuquerque Studios. The cast and local support teams were awesome to see and interact with.

In 2020, 2021, and continuing into 2022, I linked up with Studios@Fischer as an independent contractor working as a utility grip, key grip, assistant editor, video production assistant, camera operator, and assistant director of photography, on recorded and livestream music performances, videos, and social media content. We’ve even made fun videos for Christmas time, here.

In 2021, I also linked up with Piranha Productions Inc. for a 3-day Rodeo & Fair in Taylor, Texas where I was running and gunnin’ with a wireless camera for recording and live Jumbotron presentation for the rodeo and following concerts.

As for the Next Step Media Productions, LLC YouTube page, I’ve chosen to begin teaching my son how to make videos. He’s chosen to make Nintendo Switch gameplay videos. His gamertag is J.Winner and he enjoys Animal Crossing, Pokémon, Mario games, and Zelda. So far he’s made videos for AC and Mario Party Superstars. His views have been increasing, and we’re working on ways to make the videos better.

In essence, this update is more of a two-and-a-half-year review. I am excited and hopeful for 2022. More people, more connections, more content. As an update, I believe NSMP is an output venue for the creativity and skills of others and myself and I look forward to working more with others, utilizing my support capabilities in creating unique content for unique individuals. The teams I work with are invaluable to the individuals and collaborative environment I look to achieve in content creation.

How do you see your 2022 and beyond? Answer in the comments section.

19 JULY 2019

It was the seventh bag of blood that I was gently squeezing, to replenish the blood loss, caused by the self-inflicted gunshot wound in his skull. The crimson soaked gauze stretched with the swelling, as I saw the blood I was pushing drip and splatter to the ground, bouncing to the boots of other combat medics attempting to help.

I had noticed, around bag two or three, the raccoon eyes and battle scars behind his left ear lobe, reminiscent of the pictures they showed us at Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, Texas, evidence of his eventual death.

Not knowing who the patient was, I found myself relating to him, based on information I received later, that he was also an army combat medic. He had arrived in Iraq a few weeks prior, his relationship back home was in disarray, and he felt powerless to affect it.

Now he was dead. A single drop of his blood, on my boot. Rather than keeping my boots clean, I got a new pair of boots to wear on duty. Doctors said it was a symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. 

Having gone through a divorce (2008), I realized the potential that dying while on deployment (2009-2010), would benefit my estranged son and prayed that either that would be the outcome, or that God would utilize the experience to get me to the place he created me to be.

I kept my distance from most of my fellow soldiers leading to separating from the military (2012). Whether it be new duty stations, deployments, alcohol abuse, drugs, cancer, suicide, we were all bound to lose each other sooner than later. There was no point in getting too close.

Reintegration after deployment had its ups and downs. Biggest “UPS” meeting my best friend and wife (2011) and our seven year old son. Lowest “DOWN” has been a constant battle within myself, choosing to live, just to see what happens next.

I have utilized the Post 9/11 GI Bill and acquired my BFA Interdisciplinary Film & Digital Media (2017), and began Next Step Media Productions, LLC (2014), working with nonprofits, veterans organizations, government, small businesses, entrepreneurs, and putting out my own thoughts on life. I haven’t given up on people, or myself……not yet.

As I look out to 2020 and beyond, I have many fears, however, I have Faith. Learning to respond kindly to those who would hurt me. Finding gratitude and appreciation for simple kindnesses and approach each stranger with a delightful joy to bring them happiness. Creating peace through patience, steady perseverance, and a loving stillness.  Finding excellence in the goodness and generosity I have been given and able to give. Looking for reliable, trustworthy situations to engage in respectful disciplines.

It took me ten years to throw those boots away, the drop of blood still present. To this day, I never found out his name. I kept the boots to remember to keep living. I threw them away, because I no longer need the reminder.